The Suck Stops Here

I’m sitting here eating cookies at my desk because I’m hungry, and also because something is stressing me out.

My CAR. My mother-effing CAR is broken. AGAIN. I remarked to a friend last night that I must have a car demon that follows me around, because every year I have another major car problem that I’m never in a position to take care of on my own.

(Cue whining, sad violin music, and blinky wet eyes.)

The Suck, I am so TIRED of it

I have had a lot of crap happen in my life. I have had a lot of not-that-horrible problems that became HUGE AWFUL problems because I lacked the resources to take care of them when they were just small.

I have had family betray me (don’t worry, I won’t relate the whole sob story here). I have had work fall through. I have had grand expectations that were bitterly disappointed.

(I’m aware that being a raging optimist often puts me in a disappointed position.)

The Suck STOPS HERE.

So, rather than this being the post in which I whine and cry about not having savings to pay for a car repair right now, or how I will have to ask for rides to the grocery store for a while, this is a post about how The Suck, which visits me all too frequently, is welcome to stop. Right here.

Because I’ve learned some things this year.

I learned that no matter how many times I pray or beg or plead, nothing is going to get done unless I get off my ass and DO it.

I learned that no matter how many times I fail at something important, I should always get back up and try again.

I learned that my past does not determine my future, no matter how often old hurts come up, no matter how many times I misunderstand based on what used to happen.

I learned to stand up on my own two feet and stop whining that I can’t be an un-responsible kid any more.

Because you know, it will always be here

Things will always suck. Cars will break down. Arguments will happen. Perfectly lovely sunny days will be ruined by perfectly nasty headaches. People will let me down. I will lose favorite pens, gain a few pounds from eating too many cookies (ha!), drop things accidentally and break them. But I don’t have to let any of that bring me down as far as I used to.

The Suck stops here.