DO NOT RUN, WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS.

How many times do you have to tell yourself ‘don’t worry, this is perfectly normal’ before you actually BELIEVE yourself?

Yeah, me too. I don’t listen to myself either.

I’ve reached the point, post-partum (am I really still post-partum? Has it really only been one month and two days since I was last pregnant?), where I THINK I have a handle on things, and just when I am waiting for the wrinkles to smooth out, somebody grabs my blanket and wads it all up and throws it on the dirty floor. (You know, the blanket that has the wrinkles in it. That I am hoping will be smoothed out. I’m sorry if this metaphor is confusing because OMG I AM SO NOT WITH IT.)

Anyway. Where was I? Right… this blurry post-partum brain I have that I keep tricking myself into believing is a normally functioning mind. I am so silly. And impatient, apparently.

I need to relax, to let go of the stubbornly-ingrained idea I foolishly have that things can be ‘normal’ so soon after birth. I need to sink into the haze of days that blend into one another and just sniff the baby’s head more often, just watch the older kids look at her with glowy smiles, just enjoy each minute I have with my kids under my roof. All these endless hours taking care of them – they’re worth it, every single one. Even as I teach them to be more self-sufficient, I treasure all the times they need me.

And that, really, is what is driving me bonkers, essentially. They all need me. My husband needs me, my kids need me. The kitchen counters and sink of dishes don’t REALLY need me, but they’re making me think they do. My clients need me.

(Something that happens when you have your baby over two weeks early is that you have things left hanging that you’d intended to have tidily taken care of before her arrival. Ha.)

So, ladies… and men who have been there for ladies experiencing this… what did you do when your brain went on vacation after your baby was born? How did you cope with feeling like you should already be completely on top of things? I should know these things, but I have baby brain.