An Apology: A Letter To Myself

Dear Beautiful Friend,

I recently realized just how badly I have treated you, and I need to ask your forgiveness.

I rush you when you would rather I let you slowly and carefully act. I expect you to stay awake when you are tired. I expect you to work when you’re sick, pretend you don’t need breaks, and eat an unhealthy diet in the name of getting more done.

I stress you out over things that are minor, because I’m always worried you’re just not going to live up to my expectations. I make you feel guilty whenever you do anything for yourself. I’ve told you that you are fat, ugly, not good enough, and a failure. And even though I have said those cruel things to you, I still expect you to keep going and stay cheerful, stay happy, stay positive. I make you feel like a bad mother and a bad wife, even though you have proven yourself to be good at both of those things.

When you have a sad day, I’m disappointed in you. When you make a mistake, I’m so ashamed of you. I kick you when you’re down.

I am far crueler to you than anyone else I know. I believe the bad things other people say about you, and insist that you prove to me they’re wrong, when I am the only one who knows you this well.

I’m so sorry. I can’t express how sorry. I love you, my dear friend, and I should never treat you so badly. Please forgive me, and let me start over.

Sorrowfully yours,
Rachael